Learning Together: Parents & Players

The Cat Years authored in 1969, Adair Lara describes kids as dogs and teens as cats. I feared felines would take over our household. And then lacrosse walked through the doggie doI learned to not duck when I got swim-dodged or out-of-my-mind bats when a window broke. Because a lacrosse ball and stick kept our adorable puppy engaged and close to the home field during those teen years. Lacrosse gave back in indescribable ways; memories to brighten the empty-nest days and so much more.

As a parent, you don't have to be an All-American Midfielder to engage with your can't-get-enough-lacrosse-playing child. In fact, it might be better if you're not a know-it-all (KIA) to make the deepest connection with your lacrosse player. When you learn together, you stick together. Here are a few ways to connect through lacrosse that bolster your lacrosse IQ and your cool-parent factor.

Watch Parties

Beyond imagination, you can learn more by watching games WITH your lacrosse player. With scads of hours of highlights and games on YouTube, watch "film" together or attend games. Have your player explain what happened. If you host a watch party, enjoy all the conversations as you talk through assists, shots, clears, turnover types, penalties. Enjoy those ooh-ahh moments together. For kicks, watch a "classic game," (snicker at the short-shorts and leather helmets) watch for how the rules changed. And you don't have to pick up a stick!

While lacrosse season starts in February, brush up on the new rules in January. Take an evening, search "NFHS Boys Rule Changes" and discuss with your player. Consider hosting a night for your team. Sticks optional; and stay warm.

Play Catch

Pups love to play catch - and sometimes keep away. So do players. And it's hard to play catch alone. Of course, there's wall ball but it's pretty boring for you - unless you're the retriever or the timer. And some new players eye-roll at the thought of wall-ball. Psst - it is a must, and yet it doesn't replace pass and catch.

Play catch with your pup.

What happens when you've never played lacrosse and your player wants some extra "reps" - on a daily basis! You have a few options - attend a "Learn to Play" event designed for adults so you can handle a stick, and pass and catch. Or you can use a baseball glove to catch and throw back manually. Why the glove? As the player gets older the passes become snappy and harder. With the hard ball, the glove protects you! You might want to transition to a stick at some point - continuing to bolster your cool-parent factor.

Keep Just-for-Fun Stats

For new and veteran parents to the game, just like players, commit to scorekeeping practice. Grab a scoresheet and pens. Find your player, and watch a game on the "tube." Have your player be the spotter. Track the stats. When you spot and stat a game, you're watching at a different level. So is your player and you can replay in real time.

If your player plays club ball (summer, fall, box, etc), take a small notebook, and record basic stats - goals, assists, shots, SOGs, saves, TO/CT, etc. The little notebook and stat sheets make great mementos for the "lax" memory box. Remember lacrosse is a team sport and as a statistician it's about the whole team not just the individual players. Keeping stats for the entire team adds value to the coaches.

Complete game stats tell great stories.

When a parent keeps stats on the sideline they're intently watching the entire game - not just their player. It's great way to practice scorekeeping and chances are no lollipop needed because the game requires entire focus not socializing. There's plenty of time after the game to do that.

Rep Together

Keeping lacrosse stats is an art. It takes repetitious practice, just like playing. Finding ways to do your thing, while you player does his/her thing will create a bond of engagement and appreciation. Like a pup dropping that ball at your feet, your player will beg for more. Keep throwing and they will keep catching and passing it back.

Ball Hunt

Who doesn't like a great game of hide and seek? And we all know that one cannot have enough lacrosse balls. When we hit "You're too old for an Easter egg hunt," I turned the pastime into The Great Ball Hunt. Practice balls can be any color - so why not hide colored balls and let the teens get busy. And who doesn't love a new lacrosse ball or two or six?

The colored balls work great for shooting practice. Another drill for parent and player - pass the ball and shoot exercise. Announce the ball color to the player as you're passing and name a spot on the goal. Some nights we would assign small monetary amounts to the ball colors. Make the shot and collect. It's amazing what a little pressure will do. I never had to pay out more than $10.

Time Well Spent

I reflect on the countless hours of time spent together. Wouldn't have traded that for the world. Years later, your player's lonely sticks might lean in a corner and your washing machine might smell clean. When your afternoon lights up with a text message: Are you watching X vs Y game? Did you catch that last play? You heart sings.

There's no box on the sheet to track happy-heart moments. Hope you run out of space on your stat sheet.

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The Cat Years - written in 1969 by Adair Lara

I just realized that while children are dogs – loyal and affectionate – teenagers are cats. It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears. You won’t see it again until it gets hungry – then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you’re serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won’t go on family outings. Since you’re the one who raised it, taught it to fetch, and stay, and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you’re dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away. Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you.” Then you’ll realize your cat is a dog again.